Left Hand Milk Stout Nitro

Another month, another beer. This time, it's one that came all the way from the mid-west. One that isn't available out here in Los Angeles. But one that I procured nonetheless through the magical, wonderful world of beer trading --- my latest and greatest addition to the ever expanding world of getting drunk as a hobby!

The Beer:
Milk Stout Nitro is a beer that I've long been curious about. It's been around for a little while, slowly expanding its distribution footprint across the mid-west and outwards. But the closest it ever got to me was somewhere in Colorado. So, I decided to go the internet route and seek out an online store that would ship it. I had several successful hits, but all listed only Milk Stout as being available --- not the Nitro version. What good is that? Who wouldn't choose a variety with the super-hype moniker "nitro" added to it? It's like saying to a kid: "Hey, do you want to watch Power Rangers? Or Power Rangers NITRO?" Check and mate! But with beer, apparently that might not necessarily be the case. For the uninitiated, when beers are advertised as being on nitro, that typically means that they are being served from kegs that are pressurized with NO2 as opposed to CO2. The carbonation from nitrogen dioxide is significantly smoother than that of carbon dioxide. The air bubbles produced are much smaller and thus result in a much smoother drink. Most people are familiar with this from beers like Guinness or Murpheys. The "cascading" of the carbonation that is visible on the glass is the clear indication of a beer served from a nitro tap. And away from the bar, most people know of Guinness' patented "widget" which works through the magical process of tiny elves inside the can fluttering their hands as fast as possible to stimulate the beer. Yet Milk Stout Nitro has found a way to incorporate this process into a glass bottle without the requirement of any widgets (or elves for that matter). And part of the process in creating the cascading effect is adhering to their "proper pour" technique. That technique is actually quite simple. You, 1) pour hard, and 2) admire & enjoy. That's it. No angling the glass, no slow pours, no confusion. You pour it hard and quick and watch the magic happen. The result from said magic...pretty awesome! Milk Stout has a thinner quality to it than many of the bigger, boozier stouts. But it still retains strong notes of coffee, vanilla, and biscuit. There is also a tangy aftertaste to it that I imagine is slightly imparted from the lactose added in that gives it it's name. And it goes down nice and smooth...and quick.

The Buzz:
As one may have inferred from my previous statements about the scientific properties of nitrogen versus carbon dioxides, the smaller air bubbles and smoother carbonation result in a silkier drink. The cool temperature combined with viscous texture reminds most people of drinking a milkshake. With Milk Stout Nitro, you take things a step further by imparting many similar flavors and aromas. Yet unlike a milkshake, this drink has alcohol to speed you up and no ice cream to slow you down. So despite the fact that this beer has a modest 6% abv, I think I drank a pint of Milk Stout faster than any other beer I've had since beginning this blog. The resulting factor was that the first 3 beers went down in the same amount of time it often takes me to drink 1 more alcoholic stout of another nature. All factors considered, I think that the resulting buzz was probably equal to one of those barrel-aged 12% monster stouts that I have aging in my beer cellar (which is really just a crawlspace storage closet I have in my office where I save some of the more rare and special beers I've collected). When it was time to go for the 4th (and final) beer for this experiment, I had to pause and take a break. Not only did I not want to completely diminish my supply of Milk Stout, but I also wanted to let my palate cleanse, my senses straighten, and my thirst build. For this was the last bottle I would get a chance to have for a long while, and I wanted to remember it.

The Hangover:
After a night of drinking the maximum allotment of beer I allow myself for this blog's purpose in a record time, I wasn't sure what sort of hangover I'd wake up to. Typically, I can get a good sense of what hangover awaits me based on how much alcohol I can sense in the beer. Something that's 15% aged in bourbon barrels that has a burn to go with each sip often lends itself to a worse hangover than an English mild sporting something under 4% abv. But with the combination of easy drinking and nitrogen delivery, I really had no clue how this particular beer would affect my body. As it turns out, I hit the jackpot with this beer. After pounding through 48oz of Milk Stout the night before, I awoke with absolutely no symptoms of a hangover whatsoever. There were no headaches, no stomach ailments, not even any dehydration. I even got a pretty decent amount of sleep and woke up ready for a full day of renovation work on our garage. If I hadn't known better, I'd assume that this beer is actually a nutritional requirement delivering all sorts of vitamins and minerals to my body through the tiny, microscopic nitro bubbles. It's quite unfortunate that I have none left and won't be getting any more any time soon.

The Verdict:
Milk Stout Nitro more or less lived up to the hype that I had created for it. Although, I can see some downsides to this beer. I'm sure that the nitro effect fades over time. The longer the beer sits on the shelf or in your fridge very likely diminishes the subtle carbonation provided by the nitrogen. That particular element for delivery seems to be less forgiving to improper storage, temperatures, and even pouring methods. Which, unfortunately means that this isn't a beer I can just trade for en mass. And trading is not a very econimical method of obtaining beers. You must not only buy beer to send in exchange for what you'd like to receive, but you must actually send it...which is expensive as shit. That said, should Milk Stout Nitro ever find it's way here to Los Angeles, it will probably become a regular-ish purchase off the shelves for me. If for no other reason, it's always fun to share with people and show them the proper way to "pour hard" and "admire & enjoy"

Surf Brewery Black & Rye

After last month's barnburner of a duel review featuring Pliny the Edler and Younger, I decided to continue with that line of thinking and do another two-for-one review. This month however, instead of two seperate beers, I tried a 50/50 blend of two brews from one of Southern California's newer breweries.

The Beer:
Early last month, I was able to procure a growler of Surf Brewery's Black & Rye. It's an even mix of their Surf Patrol Black IPA and their County Line Rye Pale Ale. Similar to my review of Lagunitas Fusion, this a beer that can only be had by those who actually visit the brewery. Or at least in theory, it can only be attained this way. Surf has very recently started bottling their beers and distributing them across much of Ventura and Los Angeles countries. So, I suppose, one could make this themselves by combining a bomber of each. But where's the fun in that? Ironically, this particular beer wasn't my first or second choice to take home in a growler. But choice number 1 was only available on cask and choice number 2 wasn't available in growlers at all. I guess that's part of the deal when you're a small, but growing, brewery. You can't offer everyone everything all the time. Fortunately, the server on hand suggested one of their blended beers they regularly serve, the Black & Rye. Not wanting to go home completely empty handed, I tried a taste and had him fill me a growler's worth. About a week later, I opted to break open this baby and enjoy it over a night of Walking Dead episodes.
The beer itself was pretty interesting. While the growler held it's corbonation well, the first few sips were remarkably smooth almost like that of a good porter or stout. But there was certainly a bit of kick to the overall taste as well. I assume that came primarily from the rye portion of this blend. I'm not typically a big fan of rye beers, they have to be done exceptionally well for me to choose one over another available style. I know that rye is a common brewing ingredient, but its not just beer where I pass on rye. I'm one of those obnoxious bastards who asks for patty melts to be served on sourdough instead, and I almost never buy ruben sandwiches for that very same reason (and don't EVEN get me started on pumpernickel...uhhhggg). Back to the beer though, the Black & Rye hid its spice well and mixed nicely with the strong hops-forward flavor of the Black IPA. My palate wasn't overwhelmed like it can be with double IPAs and it wasn't lacking definitive flavor that I've experienced with some pale ales. There was definite "taste" to this blend and the texture that resulted either from bottling it in a twist-off growler or due to the unique mixture of the two beers made it remarkably drinkable for the first pint or so.

The Buzz:
The drinkability of this beer easily continued into the second pint. At 6.2% abv, its neither a session nor a big beer, but sits nicely in that range of weighty alcohol without being overwhelming. I find that the 6-8% abv range has been the most successful for me in these tests. They produce a nice, noticeable buzz without too much of a detrimental hangover. And they allow me to remember accurately the events of a zombie-infestation on a small southern farm that I watch throughout the night. Towards the end of the second pint, however, things began to turn for the Black & Rye. I can't quite be sure if it was the beer itself or the fact that I had tried some Himalayan food earlier in the night in the form of Yak Chili. While, the Yak was indeed a tasty meat, the chili was more akin to a stew. And although I ate it all and enjoyed it very much, washing it down with a few pints of blended beer from a growler may not have been the smartest of ideas. My stomach began to fill quicker than I had expected and finishing beer number 2 took some time. Additionally, the taste of the rye began to come forward and the hops of the black IPA receded. Carbonation still held strong with the pour of pint 3, but it took a good nursing to finish it for the night. The mild spice from the rye continued assert itself in the palate, and mixed with the lingering yak (as well as visually digesting images of zombie corpses on screen), I wasn't chomping at the bit to pour myself one last drink.

The Hangover:
After 3 solid pints of Black & Rye, 2 excellent episode of The Walking Dead, and 1 quality serving of Yak Chili, my stomach felt exactly like the sum of those parts the next morning. As with many beers (and many chilis), the gas internally produced from too much consumption is often less than desireable. Still, I have a decent stomach and with enough water and an antacid before bed, the results the following day are never too harsh. This time however, no amount of Tums were going to quell the beast that was raging inside me. When my wife came in to the bedroom to wake me after she had been up for a few hours, I didn't even try to hide my shame in the foul odors that I had created. There would be no blaming this on the dogs, for no canine could replicate such stench. No...this was mine to claim! And yet, unfortunately, this preview of gastronomical unease only grew as the day went on. While my hangover was not in the "red alert" phase of debilitation, that was merely because I did not have the 1-2 punch of stomach and head aches. Rather, all the pain and discomfort rested solely on the former. Worse, it lingered for almost the entire day. Neither water nor bread, fresh air nor medication helped ease my intestinal ails throughout the day. And though I probably can't nail down which party was most guilty of bringing this pain to my body, I think it's safe to say that had I not consumed the Black & Rye, I would have at least felt 50% better.

The Verdict:
Oh irony, you are quite the potetic bitch! Surf Brewery was a place and collection of brews that I had long been interested in. The location, the lineup, even the artwork they use for their beers all spoke to me long before I had even tried any. And once I did, I was pleased but still yearned to vistit said brewery to enjoy that beach town vibe of a small but hopping taproom. And once I did that, I was still pleased with the overall experience. Yet ultimately, their blend of Black & Rye just didn't do it for me. Sure it was good for a taste...even a pint. But more than that? I don't know if it's something I'd recommend over another of their offerings (I'm looking at you Oil Piers Porter on nitro!). I suppose however, that it's almost karmic that unless a local bar has both components on tap, you can't really suggest it to someone anyway. Unless you bring them to the taproom or mix some at home I suppose. But if you do, and you enjoy it, whatever you do, don't pair it with yak chili...you'll be sorry.

Russian River Pliny the Elder (and Younger)

When I started this blog a few years ago, never did I think that I'd find myself writing a review such as this. One which pits titan against titan, son challenging father, junior versus senior, Elder opposite Younger! If you haven't figured it out by now, I had an opportunity to drink both Russian River's Pliny the Elder and more impressively, Pliny the Younger within a day of each other. Though I did not plan on reviewing the two, I couldn't help but write about them in comparison and contrast as to what makes each unique; And if at all possible, to find out which one reigns supreme.

Pliny the Younger at Library Alehouse

The Beer:
Without delving too much into detail, I happened to come across Pliny the Younger through a raffle offered by Santa Monica's Library Alehouse. Myself and two drinking friends all won tickets for a pint of this elusive and epic beer. Since it was only 1 pint's worth, obviously I couldn't use this as an opportunity to measure the typical Beer Hates Me parameters of 'beer', 'buzz', & 'hangover'. However, on my way to the event, I stopped off at a local Whole Foods to pick up some lunch for the following day. Never one to pass up the beer isle in this massive store, I took a quick peek to see what they might have in stock. To my surprise and delight, there were bottles of Russian River's Pliny the Elder available (and at only $4.25/each!). I quickly snatched up three bottles paranoid that there was going to be a stampede of sorts to pillage their supply and headed to check out. Leaving the store on my way to the Alehouse, I immediately knew that I'd be taking serious mental notes on what was to come as this was a chance to analyze the differences between the two related brews.

Kopek leading us in a Pliny cheers.

First up to bat was obviously Pliny the Younger. It was served to the three of us in proper glassware at what appeared to be the correct temperature. With such a rare beer, it was nice to see the establishment get all the details about serving it up correct. Right off the bat, Younger had an incredible aroma. Fruity hops and sweet citrus notes seemed to be dancing off the glass. However, the first sip was...anti-climactic. This was a good beer for sure, great even, but the best in the world? I don't know. Hype is a fickle beast. It creates something intangible that likely can never be achieved. Chuck D and Flavor Flav had it right so many years ago...Don't Believe the Hype. But not because you won't find something great, you'll just always be disappointed. That said though, Pliny the Younger was in fact impressive. An amazing accomplishment in brewing when you take the time to savor each sip, which was hard to do being that all the notes blended together so seemlessly that I found myself halfway through the glass without even realizing I had drank so much. The balance in this beer is astonishing. Not too bitter or sweet, not alcoholic at all (an amazing feat being that it clocks in at 11.5% abv!), and crisp and refreshing as well. As I came to the end of the pint, I had great respect for this beer and I understood why it was a White Whale for so many beer aficionados. Would I consider it the best in the world? Maybe...maybe not, but it did earn my accolades as something that I would drink again if only it were easier to do so.
The following night, I couldn't wait to continue this exploration of Russian River's premeire IPAs, and I propmptly opened a bottle of Pliny the Elder after work. Unlike at the Alehouse, I chose to drink the beer in a glass of my own preference right out of the fridge. Whether or not this had any impact on comparison between the two didn't really matter to me. After some thought about Younger during that day, I came to realize that there are intangibles to any product that one reviews. Whereas "hype" affected my initial thoughts on Younger, price and availability may have done the same for my impressions of Elder. So, in order to think about what these beers really had in common and contrast, I had to step back and try to remove any pretenses that were affecting my judgements and evaluate the beers on their merit alone. With that established, I proceeded to enjoy what I felt was a more accurate representation of an IPA. Elder had a much more pronounced hop-forward profile. Pine and grass were present in the aroma along with a bit of fruit. The taste was considerably more bitter than Younger but with that same clean and crisp finish. This was a more powerful beer in terms of taste yet considerably lighter in the alcohol (though not exactly a lightweight at 8.5% abv). However, unlike my experience with Younger, I didn't find myself as eager to drink more and more, quicker and quicker. Younger seemed to have a more drinkable characteristic to it than Elder. Perhaps the strong bitterness in Elder reigned in the rate at which my palate desired more beer. This is not a bad thing at all though. Often, I prefer to take my time with a beer and appreciate it's complexities. Elder seemed more suited for that but only because the flavors were more bold. Younger, on the other hand had many, many subtlties and nuanced ingredients going on that the balance Russian River was able to achieve is absolutely astonighing. And so, thinking about both beers side by side I could really tell that the Younger was a more refined and intense brewing experiemnt than Elder. Which was better though? That seems to be the question that can't be avoided no matter how much I want to.

The Buzz:
The what? The buzz? Oh, right, this is the Beer Hates Me blog. The place where I write about beer's ill affects on my physiology and try to narrow down what ingredients or brewing processes make me feel sicker than others the following day. This is the blog where I try to answer questions like why a light beer such as Anchor Small Beer fuck me up so unbelievably worse than something like Sierra Nevada Double IPA. And as a part of that monthly experimentation, I like to evaluate the inheriant buzz that may or may not accompany each beer. So, as I stated earlier, Pliny the Younger was ineligable for proper testing for my blog due to its limited quantity. Pliny the Elder, however, was ripe for the picking! And after taking my time with the first bottle, I moved on to bottle number 2. Again, another pour into my glass of choice and a gradual consumption as I worked on my computer. I am not sure if the slow rate at which I was drinking this beer had anything to do with what appeared to be a lack of any buzz, but I know that none of my work suffered from any inebriation. All the T's were crossed and I's dotted. No drunk emails were sent and I did not enter into foolish ebay auctions. Nope, everything seemed perfectly fine...that is, until I stood up after I finished the second drink. That was when I had my Benny moment (see approximately 1:15:00 into "Dazed & Confused" for reference). It was as if all the alcohol in my body had been backed up somewhere and standing released it throughout my bloodstream instantaneoudsly. I was not fall-down drunk, but I was caught by surprise and unaware of just how potent Pliny the Elder truly was. After shutting down my computer and making my way downstairs, I opened bottle number 3 with the intent of having just a taste worth of beer. Just enough to meet the 36oz minimum requirement for my testing purposes. I ended up drinking closer to half the bottle but still stayed under the maximum 48oz limit in one sitting. That last bit of beer however was just the right amount to put me out for the night. Put me out on the couch with the TV still on AMC playing reruns of The Walking Dead.

The Hangover:

      There isn't much to write about this hangover because there wasn't one at all. I was as shocked as you. nearly 40oz of a beer that is twice the national average in abv and not a hungover symptom in sight. I suppose it could be due to the slow rate of consumption, the large protein-heavy meal I ate that night, or magical anti-hangover elves that came to me in the night and rid my body of any toxins. Whatever the cause, it was a welcome result. The sweet and unfortunate irony of this however is that a) Pliny the Elder is a difficult beer to find in bottles where I live, and b) when one does find it, it says specifically on the label that the beer is not for storage and meant to be consumed as fresh as possible. So much for stock piling this awesome IPA for future magical consumption where I get pleasantly buzzed with no after effects whatsoever. Oh irony, you're such a bitch!

Three drunks who can't pose for pics.

The Verdict:

      Where a typical verdict from me about a beer is whether or not I can drink it safely without any sever hangover side effects the following day. Then I usually give a snappy little summation of said beer and cheers you all in a freeze-frame ending credits sequence ala 1988 sitcom TV. But for this post, let me cut straight to the answer that matters: Which beer was better? The answer: Pliny the Younger. To be a triple IPA and seem so light, fresh, and balanced is a phenomenal feat. It must have been quite a different beer when it was first brewed because I can not imagine how a brewer would nail this sort of depth and complexity and balance right off the bat. Even professional brewers who have been doing it for years would be hard-pressed to manage that sort of mixture of flavor, aroma, texture, and alcohol. The only thing that Pliny the Younger has going against it is the absurd level of hype behind it. Due to things like raffles, tickets, 2 hour lines and such, no matter how amazing a beer is, unless it gives you an orgasm upon hitting your lips, you will be disappointed. And if your disappointment stems from not being able to secure a pint of it, then Pliny the Elder is perhaps one of the greatest alternatives you could ask for...if you can find it, that is!

Ballast Point Sculpin

After a month of analyzing my own branded beer, I return to the world of craft brewing in an ongoing effort to experience, experiment, and enjoy different brews. This month, I decided that I was long overdue in reviewing a beer from one of my absolute favorite breweries, Ballast Point. It's one that I've long enjoyed and even got to visit this past September. In choosing just which beer to review, I went with their most well-known and awarded, Sculpin IPA.

The Beer:
Ballast Point is very clear and concise with how they brand their beers. Each one is nautical in theme, cleverly alluding to the specific beer style and taste profile they present while also tying in to the overall identity of a brewery focused on all things sea. This particular beer, Sculpin, sounds like a familiar fish; but to be honest, if it's not named Salmon, Bass, Catfish, or Shrimp, I really couldn't explain to someone how the beer and it's namesake are related. So, after a trip to my local Wikipedia, I discovered that a Sculpin is a brightly colored bottom feeding fish that has sharp spines rather than scales and large, sharp teeth that can inflict serious bites on people. Okay, I can jive with that in relation to this beer. Ballast Point's Sculpin is an IPA with a strong bite and sharp hoppy notes. It's color is a beautiful and clear orangish copper hue that alludes to the layered aromas of apricot, grapefruit, and lemon layered throughout. The taste is initially quite bitter and piney but quickly settles in with a sweeter aftertaste that doesn't linger or sticky up the palate. Simply put, the Sculpin is a crisp and tasty brew! I can see why it has won countless awards for the brewery. It's a perfectly balanced IPA in my opinion.

The Buzz:
Before I sat down to drink my two 22oz bottles of Sculpin, I thought long and hard about even doing a proper review this week. I wasn't entirely in a mood to drink for one (quite rare, but possible), and secondly, I didn't know if I'd even make it to the second bottle before passing out on my own. You see, the night before I had stayed up late brewing my second batch of beer while sipping on a bottle of another Ballast Point brew (the seasonal and intense Sea Monster Imperial Stout) and foolishly followed that with a bottle of the rare (and disappointing) Faithful Ale from Dogfish Head Brewery. So, as you might surmise, I was a little hurt when I awoke that day and certainly quite worn out from so much beer the night before (making and drinking and reading about beer was becomming to be a bit much). Additionally, throughout the day, in an effort to cure my Sea Monster/Faithful hangover, I devoted myself to outdoor activities in the beautiful 70 degree weather we have almost year-round in Southern California. I manicured our lawn, walked our dogs, trimmed the hedges, played with the dogs, and weeded the yard. While my plan worked and I avoided any pitfalls of the dreaded hangover that I was sure I'd suffer, it had backfired somewhat in that my body was completely spent before I had drank a single drop of the beer I intended on enjoying all along. Yet, with help from a healthy and hefty Mexican dinner and the promise of an epic night of UFC fights, I mustered up the courage to crack open a bottle of Sculpin and enjoy my hard won sobriety. Whether it was the fatigue or mole burrito, I found that the buzz from the first bottle of Sculpin was very minimal. I took my time in drinking it, choosing to enjoy the developing tastes as it warmed in the glass; but found that the lack of any overpowering alcoholic presence allowed me to open bottle no. 2 about halfway through the night of fights. With a 7% abv, Sculpin measures in perfectly as far as I'm concerned in alcoholic content. It doesnt have the double IPA/imperial stout/barely wine punch that usually makes me balk at drinking more than one glass, nor does it have the minimal session beer levels that sometimes make me feel robbed when I'm looking for a nice mellow buzz. At 7%, and being so incredibly crisp and drinkable, it's the sort of beer that I wish I could have on hand at all times. It's no wonder that this is the most wanted beer from Ballast Point and the measuring stick of success for them. Between the awards and (presumed) sales, it's certainly a proud beer to stand behind.

The Hangover:
As with the morning of my review, the morning after my review started out quite rough. Upon waking too early due to a restless dog, my head and body were completely broken. Fear that such a wonderful beer from a favorite brewery could find itself on a no-drink list filled me with dread as I popped some Advil and Pepcid to try and remedy these ailments. I couldn't possible have another Lagunitas on my hands, could I? Had I just avoided this pitfall with other Ballast Point brews before by temperng my consumption? Or was this pain specific to Sculpin itself? Whatever it was, I put it out of my mind, drank a large glass of water and went back to sleep for a few hours. When I awoke again, the body had healed somewhat, but the brain was still fractured. Optimistic, I took to the same remedy that had worked just 24 hours prior --- I went outdoors. Whereas the day before I consumed myself outside with activity, this time I opted to relax and enjoy fresh February air. A walk with Murdoch, our boxer, through the neighborhood was the most taxing thing I attempted throughout the day. And after a coffee and small bite to eat around noon, any remnants of a hangover disappeared. The brutality that other beers have punished me with in the past was not to be found from Ballast Point. Instead, a "normal" hangover, very likely a result of overindulgence two nights before combined with general weariness from work and chores, is all that I experienced. And the overall success of Sculpin was complete.

The Verdict:
Simply, briefly, Ballast Point's Sculpin is a beer that I will always buy a bottle of anytime I see it on the shelves of a store. Just one to have. Maybe two to share. But something I'd like to constantly have "in stock" anytime I feel the need for a supurb IPA.

Kolsch No. 01

This month's Beer Hates Me post is a special and unique one. It's not a beer that anyone reading this can get and one that only a handful of people have tasted. It's also the next step in the evolution of my personal beer education. This...is an honest and open evaluation of my first successful homebrew. My Kolsch, No. 01.

The Beer:
First things first, I never intended to become an avid homebrewer (nor am I one...yet). It is something that organically grew from my appreciation of beer, the current social climate around craft beer, and some good friends & their passion for the hobby. Being surrounded and interested by all those elements led me to take a crack at making my own beer. I kept it simple though. I brewed using an extract kit and chose a style that only required one short fermenting period. Essentially, I just brewed a fancier, fresher version of what one would get if they purchased a Mr. Beer kit. To be honest, I didn't even know specifically what a Kolsch was or how it tasted. So, naturally, before I began brewing, I hit up the internets and researched just what a Kolsch was and how it should taste. Interestingly enough, true Kolsch beers are a specialty to the Cologne, Germany region much like the way that true champagne comes only from Champagne, France. But whereas the latter has to do with the grapes associated with the drink, this is simply defined by the "Kölsch Konvention", an agreement between the members of the Cologne Brewery Association. All that said, I got me a Kolsch and by golly, I was gonna brew the fuck out of this beer!
So after a quality brew day with some friends who are far more advanced and working on all-grain systems, this beer sat in my closet until it came time to bottle and consume. But before doing so, I opened up a store-bought Kolsch (Reissdorf Kolsch) to compare the two side by side. While the Reissdorf was considerably clearer, crisper, and better carbonated, it's taste was nearly identical to my own. In fact, I actually preferred my own after a few sips. Where the Reissdorf came across tasting very bready and almost stale, my Kolsch had a slightly more hoppy bite to it that went along with the malty characteristic inherent to the style. However, I also felt that my Kolsch was more watery than the Reissdorf. Both beers were very drinkable and a growler of my Kolsch went quickly when presented to my homebrewing buddies on their next brew day the following month. And to add a meta element to this post, a pint of it is quickly being consumed as I write this now.

The Buzz:

With other beers that I consume, I'm always fully aware of the alcoholic content of it before I ever open the bottle. With a beer that I brewed myself, I could only go off the targeted gravities of the recipe that I was following. The gravity, of course, is essentially what measures the alcoholic content of a beer. And my Kolsch was supposed to have an original gravity of 1.048. Although I measured it at around a 1.050 before leaving my brewing buddies, you're supposed to check the gravity again after a few weeks to see if the beer has stabilized and is ready for the next step. However, being that I'm at the most novice of steps in homebrewing, I neither have the instruments to take this reading nor do I fully understand how to properly take the reading itself. However, when it came time to bottle, cool, and ultimately drink, the Kolsch did a fine job of providing a mild buzz after a couple pints. Of course the fact that it was noon and I hadn't eaten yet could certainly have contributed. But at least I was sure that this beer had properly set up and the yeast ate the sugar like the good little buggers are supposed to. Ironically though, when it came time for me to drink this for the purposes of the blog (48oz worth on a full stomach over the course a a few hours), there was little buzz to speak of. That isn't all surprising, being that most all kolsch's are low in alcoholic content and mine in particualr should have been roughly 4.5% abv according to the recipe that I followed. That would put this beer near the bottom of the list for potent beers that I've had for purposes of this blog. Not a bad thing per se, but if I want a session beer, maybe next time I'll try making a mild.

The Hangover:
Before brewing this beer, my good friend Mark (see Wipeout IPA for more on Mark) mentioned to me one night how he's like to just spend an evening moderately drinking his own beers to see how they held up in getting him drunk and how they affected him the next morning. Did the fresher ingredients and controlled environment of every step heighten or lessen the drunken aspects of consuming beer for a night? Would they make a normal hangover better or worse? Longer or shorter? All things that were (and are) perfectly tailored for myself and this blog. And so, the morning after I lined up my Kolsch for testing, I got an answer. Homebrews give you hangovers! Not neccesarily crippling, death-knell hangovers. But certainly accute nausea and aching headache hangovers. When I first awoke at the sound and nudging of two dogs eager to eat and pee, I was extremely dehydrated with a pounding headache and weary stomach. As they ate, I drank a massive jar of water (I drink normal drinks---and the occasional brew---out of jars). While they pee'd, I popped pills. When all three of us were done, we retreated to the couch together to promptly pass out until the wife and foster dog awoke us all a couple hours later. The water and pills helped in managing what at first appeared to be a miserable reaction to my own beer but they certainly weren't a cure-all for my ailments. The rest of the day was a gradual decline in sickness as I ate, showered, and got outdoors into fresh air. The stomach returned to normal and the headache faded away. On a level of 1 to 10, this post-experiment hangover fit right in to the middle. And for a beer that I made on my own, the good news is that I'm not afraid to try again out of fear of a bad hangover. The bad news is that I'm no closer to nailing down just what specifically about certain beers affects me so bad.


The Verdict:
And so my review on my first attempt at brewing comes to a close. I'm quite pleased that I brewed a very drinkable beer. I did learn a lot. And I enjoyed the enitre process overall. I also subsequently learned that the Kolsch style, while very good, isn't neccesarily one that I'd drink again any time soon. It lacks the hop-forward quality I like in most pale ales and the malty sweetness I enjoy in porters, stouts, and ambers. So it kind of lives in this middle ground of beer stylings that don't satiate my palate or appetite. More importantly though, this beer is responsible for kicking a new interest into high-gear. I'm more eager than ever to brew my next batch of beer. I've been perusing homebrewing websites, kits, and equipment on a near daily basis looking for what to do next. And I've decided, that much like this blog, brewing a beer on a monthly basis is going to be a very enjoyable experience.

Anchor Brewing Our Special Ale (2011)

It's the end of another year and the begining of another beer blog post. I tried to be thematic with this month's selection and go with something...festive. Something...celebratory. Something...special. Ironically (or not) I chose exactly that, both literally and figuratively.

The Beer:
Anchor's Our Special Ale 2011 was my choice for a holiday beer to review for my blog. I traversed the aisles at my local beer distributor (who I am no longer patronizing due to some shoddy customer service) seeking something that was both iconic in it's tradition of producing well-known ales, while at the same time providing an offering that is both sought out and collected. And Anchor's seasonal selection fit that criteria perfectly. This is an ale that they have produced consecutively for 37 years often slightly adjusting the recipe but always remaining true to the intent behind providing a beer to be celebrated at the end of the year. And all that means just about nothing to me if the beer sucks. I mean, who cares about intent and tradition and legacy if you don't like the thing created just to fit those standards. It's kinda like the Charlie Brown holiday specials for me. I get it. They're tradition. They're nostalgic. They're...sweet? But I can't for the life of me stand them. I just don't get the appeal. Ok, the music was always enjoyable in those cartoons. But the whining, the complaining, the utter lack of humor. How the hell do these specials bring in such powerhouse ratings on TV year after year? I'll never understand it.
But back to the beer. As a whole, I was underwhelmed by this beer. But not due to it being bad or lacking anything. It was a perfectly acceptable spiced ale. Notes of cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and allspice were present. The taste was malty and sweet with a little kick of pine. The color was a deep, dark amber and it smelled just like Christmas (if that makes any sense...but it's exactly what I expected). Yet, because this is a beer that I had built up as being more than it was, I ended up let down. You see, year after year (uhhh...for the last 3 years) I had picked up a 6-pack of Our Special Ale with the intent on drinking one and saving one. Yet at the last minute, I'd always be invited to a holiday party without anything to bring. So, upon opening the 'fridge, I'd see it sitting there and take it with me. And every year, I'd drop it off on the counter of said party and before I could have one, they were all gone. So naturally, I believed that this beer was so good that merely upon seeing it, people were rushing to drink it. And although I was disappointed that I'd never get to sample it, I was content at being the party hero for bringing the greatest beer imaginable. After having it this year though, I've come to realize that I was simply going to parties with lots and lots of drunks happy that someone was bringing more alcohol to drink.

The Buzz:
There isn't a whole lot to talk about in regards to a buzz for this beer. It doesn't have a high abv, only 5.5%, and yet due to the heavy spicing of this ale, I had little desire to drink much more than the minimum 36oz. The combination of those two factors resulted in a night with little more than a minor tingle in the brain. I appreciated the fact that this beer wasn't an alcoholic bomb since it came in a 6-pack and therefor could allow for maximization consumption for this month's test. Often, with beers that I drink in 12oz intervals, I find myself pining for just a little more once my limit is reached. Yet, this time --- and possibly the first time --- I was happy that the opposite scenario presented itself and I could stop once the minimum was reached. Once again, this experience reminded me of those damn Charlie Brown cartoons. Where I was just happy to get to a commercial break when watching them with others so that I could flip the channel to something...ANYTHING...more entertaining. Seriously, I could never get past the first 15 minutes of listening to the bald bastard bitch about the most insignificant of issues. What a pussy...

The Hangover:
I suppose the one thing that I should be thankful for in regards to Our Special Ale is that (unlike other Anchor beers) when you just don't feel the need to drink a lot of it, you aren't punished the following morning.with an unjust hangover. When I awoke the next morning, outside of feeling a little dehydrated, there were no other symptoms pointing towards that of a hangover. I was able to function regularly throughout the day and even operated heavy machinery (that is, if you count a lawn mower as heavy machinery. I do, those fuckers are heavy). So, in continuing with my Charlie Brown analogies, this hangover felt much like the end of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" or "Charlie Brown, You're My Hero". When they're over, I'm both parts relieved and frustrated that I wasted my time with them.

The Verdict:
And now for a surprising twist...I really liked this beer. I really appreciate it on many many levels. The fact that it is tradition and an annual release in a small window around the holidays adds a certain level of panache to it that can't be quantified or judged. The same way eggnog sells like hotcakes from November to January, I understand the need to brew, buy, and drink a beer made just for this time of year. And even if it isn't perfect or lives up to your expectations, it's the anticipation that matters. The excitement to see a familiar product on the shelves year after year knowing that you can only get it for so long before it won't be around ever again (until the next year of course). The comfort, the reliability, the familiarity with something you have made into a tradition is immeasurable in terms of being good or bad. It just is. It reminds us that no matter how much has changed for better or worse, some things will always be there for you. Kinda like the way those damn Charlie Brown movies seem to do.